Gaia Community: Mark Jordan's Blog

More than a Gentle Nudge

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Sat, 30 May 2009 15:52:13 GMT

I've been fascinated with Eastern philosophy off and on since I was 18. Shintoism, Taoism, Zen and Tibetan Buddhism. I read "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" and "Peace is Every Step" in my thirties. And when I took martial arts with my kids, I was more interested in the self-control and spiritual aspects than the sparring. Later on, Reiki called to me so deeply that I spent three years becoming a Reiki Master.

But it wasn't until I picked up a little Tibetan singing bowl, that I realized this was a previous life speaking to me.

About the same time, I decided that I needed some serious spiritual time. I started looking for a retreat. That was the day before Thich Nhat Hanh sent out an email asking his friends, fans, and followers to support efforts to preserve the area around Deer Park Monastery from development. There was no hesitation. I booked a retreat for the first 10 days that I could (which was not as soon as I would have initially liked).

As my bowl collection grew, so did my desire to relearn more about Tibetan Buddhism. I started consuming books and movies and recordings. My NetFlix queue now looks more like a research list than entertainment. Then a colleague at the university where I teach suggested that I look into a graduate degree so that I could teach full time. I remembered overhearing somebody talk about getting accepted to a graduate institute that Joseph Campbell helped get started.

On Monday, I mailed off my application to this institute (which is still accepting applications for fall). Now I'm pulling together the loose ends to complete my application (references, a sample research paper, financial aid). I'm heading to the campus for an information session in June — something I would not have been able to do had Deer Park Monastery accepted my first time-slot request.

Last night was the clincher, though. That was when I realized this wasn't just an interesting exploration. I took a different path to get to my sacred hiking spot, and while driving along, I thought I saw the word Zen on a sign. I quickly turned around to discover a Zen meditation center about two blocks from where I live. They have daily meditations, Saturday morning practices, meditation retreats (Sesshin), and private meetings with a teacher (Dokusan) to deepen your personal practice.

Orientation is this Wednesday evening. I'll be there.

After all, when the gentle nudges become full-on pushes, it's best to listen.

Tags: Zen, Buddhism, Divine Timing, Past Lives, Spiritual Practice

Something as I begin this blessed day

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:22:15 GMT

Yes, this is a blessed day. Not because it's the Friday before a long weekend (though that does make me feel very good), and not for any anniversary. It's a special day because I'm still here, working on realizing myself.

I'm coming to grips with the idea that I need to focus more on what I desire for my soul's evolution in this lifetime and less on what others deem "urgent" in a world of unquenchable desire and unrelenting deadlines. I need more time to truly vacate, empty my head, and sit with the knowing of all that I've experienced.

Sounds like a mid-life crisis. Maybe it is.

Then again, perhaps after living 49-1/2 full years, I've reached that point where I have experienced enough that I can begin the process of taking what I've learned and using it to better know myself. I've known heartache, pain, discomfort, joy, love, wealth, poverty, friends, lovers, career success, disappointment, dissatisfaction, the triumph of victory and the agony of defeat.

But I haven't truly taken the time to sit down and look at how I want these events to define me. To develop a deeper sense of self awareness.

So now my goal is to find gentle ways to do more of what's important for me and less of what's urgent for others. And to do it in ways that don't invalidate the needs of others, but rather allow me to step out of their path so they can take care of themselves.

How this looks, I don't know. But do it, I must. For I want to see all of the Universe in a single leaf.

Tags: self awareness

An Old Friend Comes Home

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:04:03 GMT

I know this is going to sound strange, but last night an old friend came home in a FedEx box. A small Tibetan Singing Bowl, in the note of F (the Heart Chakra), was the last one out of the box. And it immediately became my favorite.

Outwardly, this seems to make no sense. It's a little 5-inch plain bowl. I have beautiful bowl that are 8, 10, and almost 12 inches in diameter, wonderfully inlaid, with deep resonant sounds. But this little plain bowl is the one that makes me smile.

The more I sat with it, even putting this bowl by my bed, I realized that this was an old friend. I have used this bowl before, many times, to calm the noise and to heal. Suddenly it all started to make sense. This is why these bowls are so easy for me, so utterly fascinating, and so compelling.

Intuitively, I have practiced rituals with these bowls since they first came into this lifetime a couple weeks ago. I have cleansed them and filled them with my energy. I have tried to share their beauty with others, even with people I don't know.

My old friend leaps to song when I touch it with the wand. And it reverberates long after I'm done. It gently leads me to listen for the silence when it ends. And it plays at the right level for me at any given moment.

It surprised me. I'm glad I was open to the messages. And to its song.

Namaste

Tags: Tibetan singing bowls, past lives, inspiration

The First Step in My 1000-Mile Journey

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:06:16 GMT

As you might or might not know, I've been feeling the pressure to make a huge life change. You know, the classic leap of faith into the unknown, and start living my life in greater alignment.

Today I took the first step. I will be spending a week at the Deer Park Monastery, which is one of the schools based on the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. I wish I could stay longer, but without actual vacation pay, that would be quite a bit out of my price range. I figure I'll go back at a later date.

What led me to do this was walking into the local Himalayan store, and having a Tibetan man teach me how to play the singing bowls. I've really enjoyed the practice, and I'm teaching myself how to play them for greater effect.

Just thought I'd share this with you and ask for your prayers and support.

Namaste,
Mark

"If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way." ~Buddha

Tags:

Another Feel-Good Video

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 04 May 2009 16:37:30 GMT

It's not really fair to begin a Monday feeling so groovy about people. Imagine what the world would be like if we all sang with this much love and joy just a little more often.

[HD] T-Mobile Sing-along Trafalgar Square

Tags:

Relaxing into Compassion and Understanding

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 04 May 2009 13:27:47 GMT

Lately I've been working on relaxing into a deeper understanding, initially just of why I make the choices that I do. In letting go of an outcome (which is what I mean by "relaxing into it") I've come to really understand the concept that we all do the best we can in each moment. Sometimes that doesn't seem like the best I can do, but in that moment, it usually is.

There are things I do that seem to make no sense, until I go back to that moment, fully. When I look back with objectivity and feeling, I grasp the swirl of emotions, the feelings in my heart, soul, and body, and can feel why I did what I did.

This all came about because I've been having challenges with somebody who wants to reconnect after many years away. Seven, to be precise. It wasn't a pretty end to a tumultuous relationship, but I've grown significantly since then, and I thought that she might have too.

But when we got together, the energy wasn't comfortable for me. I'm much more grounded these days, more calm, and more aware of not getting caught up in the energy waves that come at me from time to time. Eventually, I asked for some time and space to see if things would calm down.

Things did calm down, for me. And as I stepped out of the shower this morning I realized the importance of time and space for relaxing into understanding and compassion. Without the pressure to make a decision in the moment, I could step back, and be objective with Love.

The key for me here was realizing that being objective doesn't mean removing Love or feelings, it means not being attached to a judgment in this case. When I step back in Love, I don't judge or make assumptions about why something happened. No motives are assigned. I just know that everybody involved was doing the best they could at the time.

And that's all I could ever ask of anybody -- even myself. Just do your best, and be your best you.

Tags: compassion, understanding, Love, objectivity

Standing at the crossroads

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:29:24 GMT

I'm at a point where this holding pattern just isn't working for me. I need to do something more. I'm not exactly sure what that entails, I just know it's more.

I've been here before. Many times. And I've started down a path, only to go back to the comfort of a holding pattern. Which never really provides much in the way of comfort. It's just lazy. It's easy. And it's damned uncomfortable right now.

Right now the work I do for money isn't fulfilling me. But it is succeeding in exhausting me and eating up my hours. Yes, it pays the bills, but only just. And not in a way to gives me the luxury to escape. To explore. To feel comfortable.

So I'm at a crossroads. And I'm not sure how much of a leap of faith I'm capable of at this time. It will all change in a few months, when both kids head off to college. But even then, I want to be able to support them. How much of a risk can I take? Can I step off into nothingness and truly trust?

I guess this is where I find out the true strength of my internal fortitude and my faith.

Tags: leap of faith, fortitude, risk, crossroads, comfort, fulfillment, support

Almost leaving just before the Miracle

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:25:58 GMT

As I approached the little cafe near the Old Mint around 7 on Wednesday morning, I was chuckling at a pigeon that just kept turning into my path. I looked up to see a big, bright, toothless smile laughing with me. I smiled at him. I was almost past the very thin man when he said, "Sir, can I bother you for..." and his voice trailed off.

"Would you like some breakfast?" I offered, being in a great mood this morning. He looked at me quizzically. "Or would you rather have a dollar?" I countered, holding out a bill.

He smiled and said, "Thank you, sir." He took the dollar with weathered fingers, the tips of which were black. He was very frail, had no teeth, but there was a joy in his eyes that touched me. He wasn't doing well, but he wasn't complaining.

So I walked into the cafe, ordered my breakfast, paid, and left, walking back to the smiling man, and gave him some of my food. He just looked at me, as though he never expected to see me again. He smiled and said thank you again.

I turned to walk away, smiling. Then I heard, "Sir?" I turned back to the man, thinking he needed something else. He leaned back and said, "You're an honorable man."

I swallowed hard, and smiled. "Thank you," I replied. Funny how those four words touched me.

Later, a friend of mine gave me her slant on an AA mantra, "We always want to leave just before the miracle."

I'm glad I didn't.

Tags: random acts of kindness, breakfast, miracles

Lunch with Stan

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:56:20 GMT

Today was one of those days where the sun was a little brighter, my steps were a little springier, and my smile was a little warmer. Guess that's why Stan picked me.

Stan was sitting on the sidewalk, leaning up against the a building where a lot women who don't speak much English sew clothes for not much money. He asked if I would be willing to listen to his story. Which I did.

Stan was a retired operating engineer. But he had fallen on hard times and now he just wanted to get something to eat. Having no change, I invited him to walk to the burger place around the corner with me.

As I asked Stan more about himself, he explained that he used to operate a crane, like the one we could see on the horizon. He told me he had helped build some of the nicer hotels in San Francisco. He was an gentle man who had hit a rough patch after 35 years of building this beautiful city.

I got him a combo meal and treated him like a friend.

He promised me he'd pay it forward. I told him that while I'd never been there, I'd been close. And that's when he said something that made me want to tell his story.

"You don't need to be in the gutter to know it's there. You understand. And I love you for it."

I know you understand too.

My prayer is that the next time you encounter one of the millions of Stans out there, that you take the opportunity to walk with him, talk with him, and maybe share a soda with him.

It really is a gift from above.

Tags: Stan, lunch, spare change, gutter, life on the streets

Picturing Hope

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:21:39 GMT

I keep forgetting to promote my book about life in the refugee camps in Northern Uganda. So here's the link. You can even preview the book. And $5 from each sale goes directly to Inveneo, who is doing something to help.

So you can read the book and do some good if you're so disposed.

You can see Picturing Hope here.

Tags: Picturing Hope, Africa, Inveneo, refugee camps, IDP camps, Uganda, civil war, blurb

Dharma

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:33:07 GMT

Ever found a TV show that mirrors part of your life? I always had this funny feeling that my new friend was a lot like Dharma from Dharma & Greg. But this morning, I flipped on the TV and there she was. Dharma, that is, doing something I could totally see my friend doing.

And I not only laughed at the funny lines, but smiled knowing I have a part of that in my life. I could totally identify with Greg -- totally lost at times in a world that often doesn't make sense to me, but with a wonderful woman who makes me smile in ways I never expect.

And it reminded me that I'm truly blessed. In ways I can't even express.

Tags: Dharma, TV, smiles, joy, blessings

Walking with MLK

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:12:04 GMT

Have you ever noticed how little things start to conspire to show you something new in the old? I love it when that happens.

Today, my favorite little coffee place was closed. And the Peets Coffee that is on the most direct path from the train station to my office just doesn't put any heart into making my coffee. So I headed to the one across the street from the SF Museum of Modern Art. There I know they take great pride in making a great soy latte.

As I passed the Moscone Center walking through Yerba Buena Gardens, I suddenly realized that I was right above the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. And he called me to come spend a moment with him.

Have you ever read one man's words and had them pass through your brain and grab you by the heart and throat? Had tears well up for no good reason, other than you know you're reading a deeply profound truth, spoken by a person who has been to the top of the mountain? Someone God has called?

I love it when that happens too.

This man has been speaking to me for a while now. Inspiring me to live a bigger life. Inspiring me to climb to the top of the mountain. To see the Promised Land. To find a way to help get us all there. Because we can only get there when all of us move as one.

Walking through the Memorial, this caught my eye, my heart, and sat in my throat. Which usually means that I need to share it.

"Through our scientific and technological genius, we have made of this world a neighborhood and yet we have not had the ethical commitment to make of it a brotherhood. But somehow, and in some way, we have got to do this. We must all learn to live together as brothers or we will all perish together as fools. We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly."

— Martin Luther King, Jr. at the National Cathedral, Washington, D.C., on 31 March 1968

Imagine that.

Tags: Martin Luther King Jr., inspiration, brotherhood, oneness

A gentle reminder, more for me than anyone else...

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:36:29 GMT

From a friend who said this made her feel "soul squishy":

Here's a simple, yet powerful way to immediately make your life more rewarding.

Move away from the things that drain you and move toward those things that empower and fulfill you.

Begin to take notice, as you go through the day, which is which. When you take the time to look, it's easy to distinguish the things that lift you up from the things that bring you down.

Tags: soul squishy, rewarding, fulfill, empower, attention

Deepak Chopra's take on the economic meltdown

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:47:16 GMT

In case you missed it, here's Deepak Chopra's take on what's happening now.

When Barack Obama declared, "I am my brother's keeper," he stated not just a Christian obligation but a core tent of society. When the social contract is viable, the majority protects the rights of the minority. The obligation becomes stronger when the social contract runs into crisis, because that is the point where common bonds are most frayed. There's also a sense of natural morality at work. Passengers who made it into lifeboats on the Titanic pulled others out of the water. The same happened among the passengers on the recent crash landing of a jet in the Hudson River. So, yes, if you have escaped a collective economic disaster, it's your obligation to help the less fortunate. This is simple morality, and most people abide by it.

Tags: Deepak Chopra, economic meltdown, society, morality, obligation

You want proof that the Universe has a sense of humor?

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:47:58 GMT

Last night I told a very attractive woman that I wasn't interested in dating or being romantically involved with anybody anymore. I have come to realize that I really do enjoy my own space and privacy far too much to share it with anybody.

This morning, while drawing Angel cards (a morning ritual), Soulmate came flying out of the deck. When I cut the deck, New Love and Romance showed up.

Of course.

Thanks Angels. Hope you're enjoying this giggle.

Tags: Romance, Soulmate, Angels, Love

Typo of the Day

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 22:29:51 GMT

"In order to achieve immorality, one must live a life worth remembering..."

Tags: Typo of the day

I like this gentle reminder

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:56:01 GMT

What we do today and tomorrow, we do thanks to those who sacrificed so much before us.

Thank you to all those great spirits, those who sat, walked, stood, and ran to make a difference, to right wrongs, to make this world a better place.

Rosa Sat - song for Barack Obama

Tags: Rosa Sat, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama

"The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit"

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:33:16 GMT

I love this line from today's Inaugural Address, along with several others.

"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord."

"The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

"Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America."

"What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them"

(You can find the transcript of the whole speech here.)

I love the idea of choosing hope over fear. I've seen a huge influx of hope in my friends, in my colleagues, in watching the millions of people freeze while watching the inauguration.

I get the feeling we're looking at a brave new world. And maybe now John Mayer can stop waiting...

John Mayer - Waiting On The World To Change (Live)

Tags: obama, inauguration, speech, hope, new world order

Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings...

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:34:10 GMT

Lately I've come to understand that even though I'm a writer, I can't put everything into words. God/The Universe/Source/the Unified Field is a perfect example. As Michael Beckwith said, "God made man in HIs image, and we've been trying to return the favor ever since."

The other example that comes to mind are feelings.

Feelings are those things we feel (as in, not think). Every now and again, we find a way of verbalizing feelings in a way that we can share with others. But, for the most part, feelings are something we feel, with our bodies, not our minds.

Trying to put words to something I feel takes the feeling from my body to my mind. And that's the exact opposite of what I feel I need to do at this point in my evolution.

You see, I've always been a pretty smart kid. I can wrap my head around most subjects pretty easily (calculus and romance being notable exceptions). For most of the past forty-plus years, I've experienced the world through my mind. But this year I encountered a woman who has been teaching me how to experience this life through my body. Not in a sexual way, but in a sensual way. Through my senses.

The thing is, when I try to explain what I just felt, two things happen: I remove the experience from my body, and I fail miserably at trying to explain it. That's because it's something I felt, something I experienced through my senses — sight, smell, taste, touch, sound — and usually all of them at the same time. How do I explain the smell of vanilla, the taste of coffee, the sound of an appreciative mmm, or the touch of silk? I can't. I can only remind you of an experience you've had with those senses.

Love, trust, faith, courage, joy, relief, and connection are sensations I now want to experience rather than rationalize. I just want to be with these feelings, embrace them, roll around in them, and smile as they return the favor.

Just don't ask me to explain them.

Tags: feelings, sensations, explaining, love, trust, faith, courage, joy, words

What has given you the most strength?

http://mark-jordan.gaia.com — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 17:11:08 GMT

Learning to trust. Once I started turning things over to the Universe, surrendering and releasing, I've found that I can deal with most anything. I trust that everything will lead me to where I need to be.

Tags: QaR, strength, life, experiences, growth